Here we go

I'm about to disconnect, and when I reconnect, I'll be in Colorado.

(Unless, I suppose, I go to a coffee shop and use their WiFi)

It's interesting to be going somewhere and not to be outrunning a broken heart, escaping a terrible job, or chasing a dream. To be going, instead, because it's right for someone you love, and you are at peace with leaving.

There are many things that make a modern gypsy, and my list would require an entirely separate post (or blog). I can't believe it, but I'm finally tired of moving. I equally can't believe the word "stability" no longer sounds dirty to me.

Au revoir, Chicago, City of Big Shoulders, gangster's ghosts, deep dish love & red-shoe-blues.

This feels a little bit like breaking up with someone you should have a long time ago, when all you can do is shake hands, smile and say, "Thanks for the memories. I wish you well."

both images via ffffound

fairy tale

I love this dress. I tore it out of a magazine years ago and saved it. I kind of always wanted to be that bride. I mean, hello gorgeous cloud-like whipped tulle fairy tale princess gown.

Just one eensy problem: I have no idea who made that delicious gown. Neglected to save that information.

x | le love | ffffound | ru glamour | case via signal gallery 

black & gold

Tonight feels like black and gold. A little dreamy, a little mysterious. 

wien museum wine, snippet & ink, design is mine, ffffound x2

Write Now

ffffound

Write now. Stop getting distracted by other blogs, by the Internet at large, by another bottle of San Pellegrino Limonata. Write, now, you should be writing, you should be working hard at your novel, because you want to finish and publish and see your name on a book jacket through the window of a bookstore. Stop talking yourself out of it, stop being scared that you'll fail before you begin, stop stopping yourself. Write now. Begin. Write now you are sitting here without the boy without the dog without plans with nothing but a night ahead, write now you are success waiting to happen, you are stories bursting through your seams, you are words, words, words and you know this, sometimes, better than you know your own name. Fingers on the keys. Write now.

It's lonely. It's hard. But what can you do? It's your very self, so you must write. Just one more sentence of procrastination longer and...

No more excuses. You are brilliant and clever and it's just the shitty first draft which no one will read anyhow, so you've nothing to lose. You know you will anyhow, so you might as well get to it.

Write, now.

I miss my dog

I don't mean to be prejudice or anything, but I have the best dog in the world.

I will get to see her in just 9-10 days. She's been waiting for me in Colorado since March 14th, when she and the Beau took off in advance. Puppy withdrawal is seriously hard, people.

I try to get a fix by shamelessly petting other people's dogs on the street, or trolling petfinder.com, but it's not the same. They're not her. She's my buddy, my companion. She's my happy little face, my bee.

I tell myself "soon." Soon, soon, soon. Soon.

Studio on Fire, MN

I don't need another book.

Etsy

But I want one. 

I live by this great bookstore. And I can't pass it without acting like Carrie Bradshaw passing Manolo Blahnik. 

I have a stack of books to read (packed away for the move), but I can't help it. I want more. 

My Amazon wish list has 18 items and is topping off at over $200. In BOOKS. In my trusty sidekick notebook, I've got scribbles of titles, authors, and publications I need to check out. There are more notes on the backs of receipts crumpled in my purse. 

And yet.

And yet.

I pass a bookstore, my steps slow, my eyes scan the book jackets, and soon I'm standing in the middle of the sidewalk, gazing lustfully at the volumes. 

It's worse if I actually go in.

And I'm in the middle of a book right now. (Alright, two.)

Oh, and btw, no Kindle for me, thanks. I spend enough time staring at a computer screen. Not to mention the fact I like to read in the bath too much and I'm too clumsy. And I can take a paperback to the beach and get it sandy or leave it in the sun. I can toss it in my bag and let the pages get all bent. I can lend it to a friend, or buy a well-worn copy at a used book shop, maybe with someone else's notes or dedication inked in the inside cover. 

And if I do drop it in the bath, I can still read it when it dries. 

Besides, give up the scent of paper and the feel of the pages? I think not.

I'm gonna miss it

 

The Matisse exhibit at the Chicago Art Institute. And oh, how I wanted to go! But the To Do list has gotten out of control, and we leave for Colorado Monday. Sad face.

So I am sharing some Fauve-ulous pics that I like in honor of my jilted plans.

Obviously, these images aren't art history. But they have that Crayola-licious look that the Fauves brought forth.

ffffound | Brooklyn Bride | Holi festival of colors | Oh Happy Day!

i. love. paris. in the...wintertime?

Does anyone ever feel like they have the time and money to travel? I'm guessing not. I mean, both the time and the money? Probably unlikely, unless you're my friend S, who is a kept woman and can go wherever she damn well pleases.

Unlike my friend, R, who simply wanted to go to France and so she saved her money, took some French classes and went. Jealous.

Or my friend A, who had not the money but found the time and went. And is now in debt, but at least she has some great stories (especially the one about eating fresh figs under fig trees in Germany) and also some great photos of Amsterdam.

So what holds me back? The answer is inertia. I suffer from my own tragectory. I need, I truly, really need to break this path and go, go, go.

I don't even have a passport.

So I just sit at home, like this. Looking just exactly like this.

I self-sabotage by saying I do not have the time, I am saving vacation days for the wedding (however, am leaving this job and moving to Denver, so, now my excuse will be "I cannot, I do not have a job"), or I say that I can't, I don't have the money, I am saving for the wedding (caught in the second lie: um, over a year into the engagement now and I have literally done nothing to further this wedding, save one afternoon of trying on bridal gowns with mom in Ohio.)

Yesterday, while musing over a winter wedding in Colorado, replete with sleigh rides and twinkling lights (t.l., btw, are on my list of "must have's" for the wedding; this much I know) and he tossed out the idea of a honeymoon in Paris. At Christmas.

ffffound | Bristol Hotel | arc de triomphe

Pretty baubles

So I was meeting friends tonight and, you know, running early, so I did the best thing I could do with my time: I went to Hazel.

Hazel is...like your super cool, more together, financially stable, fashionable and savvy older sister. Yeah? She's a pretty little store here in Chicago. Here's what I super-want right now:

African Turquoise Cuff

Onyx Bracelet

Guys...it's a locket ring! 

I look at that locket ring in particular and wish I knew someone it would be perfect for so I can give it as a gift...but it's one of those things that's perfect for me! So...I'm just putting that out to the universe. 

Oh, my stars

Found this cake via Snippet & Ink from Martha Stewart. I. Am. In. Love.

We haven't decided on a cake yet, and I think this is a worthy contender. Likely in different colors. Equally tasty in either something lemonlicious or a red velvet, I'm guessing. 

UPDATE: This cake is most likely not going to happen, because our cake maker is not so amazing, and she can't do the stars. She's asking us to do them. Really? Isn't that your job?