we have both lost perspective. it's gotten out of hand. they say it's never too late to change and do something different, scaled back, "you." but that's not really true--not after other people start putting money into it; then you really need to stick to the plan and move forward, and believe it will all come together, and be beautiful--not perfect, but then, you're not perfect--but a reflection of you. and at the end of it all, as my good friend K says, it's you and him, and that's what it's all about anyhow.
no matter what the bells and whistles.
but weddings are hard. i see that first hand right now with communication issues, costs, the ideas others have (important others, like parents), and the unrealistic aspects of my own childhood dreams. i see it in my friends, who have struggled with infidelity, divorce, and the very hard realization that This may not actually be right, and some thinking must be done.
relationships are frightening. marriage is terrifying. you join yourself to someone else--forever. on one hand, that is a comforting, romantic vision. on another: a life sentence.
i suppose it depends upon the day.
you find that you marry not only a person, but also that person's family. terrifying.
but when it all gets insane, i spy a photo of my beau, and i know he is my best friend, my tribe, my home. the world is crazy, and he's crazy, but he's my crazy.
...only (oh God) about two months to go.
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
-Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road
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